Pleasuring Each Other with Our Words

This latest email I received is so ridiculous, I needed to post it all. I'll let it do the talking:

I'm a Bit of a Challenge

Ginger from the UK submitted this latest gem. The first line is what really draws me in. I mean, he really sees past our womanly superficiality, doesn't he? What a class act and so humble.

PLEASE TALK TO ME!

Wow. Talk about TMI. The last line is what makes the email. I think our buckaroo here has some trouble with people NOT RESPONDING! HOW RUDE!

Can You Cook?

Hi Hans, thanks for considering letting me into your social circle. What a gentleman. Before I never accept, let me ask you 3 questions:

1. Have you always been a douche, or just recently?
2. Does sexist, piggish language come naturally to you, or did you learn it?
3. How many ladies are you picking up with those fab lines?

Oh.My.Gosh.

If this doesn't define an online dating nightmare, I don't even want to know...

Hey Cute

Yeah ... okay. I was waiting for the part where he'd tell me he was a Nigerian prince and needs to entrust me with 2 million U.S. dollars until he can come to our country.

If I Shout at You, Will It Help?

Ugh. Where to start: The all caps. The misspellings. The "God sent you to me" claims. BYE GEORGE!